I think 563's experience is unique ... but the end result only proves my point ... "It takes a life time to build a good reputation, and only one moment in time to ruin it."  Although Mark (aka 563) had good reasons for not making the gig, it still affected his reputation. He made the choice that was right for him (and is probably what most of use would have done) ... but wrong or right, our decisions and the way we conduct ourselves does fall into a "cause & effect" scenario. Some people will understand your actions, others will not. Each of us have to weigh what is important or worth fighting for ... knowing that it may tarnish our reputations with some individuals.

The great college basketball coach, John Wooden once said, "Worry more about your character than your reputation. Character is what you are, reputation is merely what others think you are."

Some people spend their lives worrying about how others perceive them. It's really a losing game. You did what you thought was right at the time. That's all anyone can do.

I think you made the right choice considering the circumstances. And we all learned something from your ordeal.

Don't go anywhere near the airport on the day of a gig.  

WHAM,WHAM,WHAM...I don't care if the horse is dead >:(WHAM,WHAM,WHAM.....LOL

I agree with you, Bart, and these are the types of choices people in any profession make. Ethical choices tend to cost us something. If he was a young lawyer skipping out on a court date, it wouldn't be any less costly to his career. Did he make the right decision? Of course. Having strong character tends to cost something in the real world.

There is one magic word that keeps me from being a flake....

NEXT!!!

Imagine how well he could've played sober! And he would've remember the show too! I feel sorry for the guy.  

My friend opened up for B.B. King one time.  He said his band was just about to go out on stage when he saw the drummer at the bar with a double shot in each hand.  My friend, who is normally really laid back and wouldn't normally make a blatant physical threat to someone, went up to the drummer and said, "3 words for you.  If you screw this up for me I'm going to KICK -- YOUR -- A*S."
He said the drummer left his shots on the bar....


My friend just told me this story...
This past weekend a certain famous metal drummer came into Houston to play a show with my friend's band.  My friend (guitarist) basically worships this guy, as his band's music majorly influenced him over the years.
Well, anyway, to make a long story short, when my friend picked him up at the airport on 9am Friday, the drummer was already hammered.  When he got in the car, he downed 3 hot beers that had been in my friend's trunk for ages and my friend said he told him, "Hey man, hold on, we'll get you a cold one but he downed those AND wanted to stop at the store.  Anyway, my friend said this guy stayed absolutely snotsligging drunk from morning til night for 3 days and didn't even take a shower once, smelling up my friend's entire house.  The poor guy has let himself go so bad that his teeth have all rotted out and he's virtually skin and bones.  The guy was totally broke and couldn't afford any food all weekend and my friends had to feed him, which was not a big deal because they were honored to buy their famous drum hero food, but still, my buddy was really crushed to see one of his mentors in such a pathetic situation and could not believe it.  He didn't understand how such a famous drummer could be so broke with all the great albums he's been on, etc.   He asked me, "What is it with these rockstars!?" I told him alcoholism/ drug addiction is a disease that affects many kinds of people, not just musicians...but, yeah...talk about an occupational hazard!!  You're in the partying environment everyday and people are always giving you free drinks and/or whatever else you want.  If I drank all the drinks people sent me in a night I'd fall off the stage.

One time our bassist got way hammered and screwed up the entire gig. He denied it the next day when we brought it up.  So we busted out the videotape. He was really embarrassed when he saw how badly he played and quit getting so blasted after that.

Outside the square a bit but  there are occasions that one just can't cut it due to family, illness etc and provided the excuse is excusable, my band keeps subs up it's sleeve to fill a gap here and there. Not a common occurance but it's real handy to have someone you can rely on fill in for a night and not disrepute the band. Iv'e also done this for other bands at minutes notice, the show must go on.