After a couple of months away from the kit, I'm getting back to playing by setting my #1 priority to having fun with a weekly practice (or 2) and two gigs a month. I don't want to put myself under too much stress and pressure and I want to play rock covers (it's fun and simple) and maybe also some originals that will fit with my style of playing... I don't plan to make it in the business.

I'm posting this wishing to get some advice to help me get my questionning a little bit further and find some answers that will lead me to the next step.

Right now, I'm down to four different opportunities :

#1 I played with an experienced bass player (classic rock covers) and it went really well... The chemistry between us (drum & bass) worked really great. She's in charge of the project (with her boyfriend, who's king of managing the whole thing) and she's trying to find a guitar player and a singer. What's bugging me is that she's asking me to audition guitar players and singers as a whole band, with me also playing. I'd rather have her find musicians she likes so only then I will join to start rehearsing the set list. Right now, I'm turning her down to go to the auditions and I feel kind of bad about it, but I'd really like to join a full band, since I know that she and I play great together.

#2 A band of classic rock covers who's auditioning drummers. The band is ready to play (about a gig/month) and is formed with experienced musicians. They asked me to audition this coming Saturday and I already know most of the songs.

#3 A guitarist/singer and his girlfriend (who's playing keyboards) who has some really great original songs up his sleeves... I really dig his stuff and I'm excited about auditioning for him (he said he has about 3-4 drummer who are interested). We're both huge fans of the band Placebo and it's very nice talking with him, we connect! He seems very serious and has already recorded some of his songs. I like the fact that even if he's serious about his music, he has a day job like me and he takes it one step at the time, without too much stress or pressure.

#4 A monthly jam with people in their 40's (I'm 35) doing classic rock covers. We jammed once and it was great! I don't think this project will really take off, since all mucisians involved have families and day jobs. Maybe we'll do some party gigs and also some at summer festivals, but this one's more a long shot project.

So, what do you think about it? I have a day job and, of course, I won't be able to play in all four bands. But right now, they're all projects in progress... I'm really interested with the originals project, even though I was thinking more of sticking to rock covers. I also want to do the audition on Saturday because it could lead to an already formed band doing classic rock covers.

The bass player (#1) seemed to be offended when she learned that I was checking out for other musicians. I told her that I don't want to limit myself to only one band, and to tell me if that's a problem for her. After our first (and only jam), I told her that I liked our playing togheter and that I was interested to see what it would sound like with a guitar player and a singer.

Thank you for your advice and I hope that I expressed myself using a "not so bad" english.

Ben

Very good point, thanks. Engaging myself... This is why I feel bad about situation #1. The bass player wants me (as a drummer!), but I'm kind of choking and afraid to commit to this project. And frankly, I'd also be suspicious about my motivations and my willingness to engage, which I thought where clear : have fun, take it one step at a time, no pressure or stress, enjoying myself playing songs that would fit my style of playing (energetic, tight and groovy). I also want to play a couple of shows a month...

Maybe this should go into the "Health & Fitness" forum, but this is a personnal issue that I'm working on these days : my fear of engagement... At work, in a relationship and also in musical projects. I'm kind of used to rejecting what is and could be good for me (and also people that want me to stick around).

As for as project #1, I have three options :
1. Tell the bass player that I stick with her and that I'm willing to build this project and be present in the decision process.
2. Tell her that I'm available and that I'll be there when she'll have completed the band (while I'll be also looking for other musical opportunities).
3. Tell her that I chose another project than hers and I'm not available anymore.

My feeling right now is that it's beginning to get a little bit complex with these four projects and that I'll have to say "no" to one or some of them very soon. Conflictual schedules are appearing and I simply cannot commit to all of these projects. Time will tell which one are going to work out but I'd rather be the one who decides what I want to do instead of having them dropping me because they feel I cannot engage myself seriously in their project.

I'm not sure if I have to get involved in only one project and look for another in case this one doesn't work out, instead of trying to manage four at the time.

Thanks.

All I can advise is try to take advatage of all these situations until one solidifies. My expirience is that it is amazing how fast four situations can fade into none. Yes, you will probably have to make a decision and a commitment at some point but better it be YOUR choice and not someone elses. Good luck.

Thank you guys for sharing your opinion!

Here's how the situation has evolved in just a few days :

#1 I don't feel like commiting to this project right now and I also feel that something's stopping me to get more involved in this project. So I prefer to listen to my "inner voice" and don't put energy and time where I don't feel it's right. I told her that I'm available and I liked playing with her, but I'd like to join a more complete band because that's what I'm looking for. So, she's got my phone number and I have hers. I was honest with her (and so did she) from the beginning and I feel good about the situation.

#2 I went to the audition yesterday night and it was awesome! I enjoyed myself and we played (for about 2 hours) some great classic rock covers. I had a blast groovin' with my new Mapex Pro-M and it felt great! The bass player and I really hit it off from the start. All band members were really nice human beings, so musically and personnally, everything's more that fine. They were amazed by my playing (I really can groove and it's like I finally found my style of playing after all those years trying different things) and also the sound of my kit very much.

They still have drummers to audition and told me that some of them were also really good and nice people, just like me. So I did my best, had fun both playing and hanging around, drinkin' a beer, with them. I couldn't have done more and I now have no power over the final outcome and the decision they will make. This band represents what my goals were : play cover songs to have fun, with one practice a week and one gig a month, with good musicians who can play with their heart, like the way I do play.

#3 Well, I'm not sure anymore about this one... Doing originals (event though it's good stuff) doesn't seem really appealing to me now. Spending time in a basement, playing at low volume – this is how they want to work on the songs, which is not bad but doesn't correspond to what I need right now – and going into studios recording demos is not what I want to do... I want to get out with my kit and have fun, just playing! So I guess I'll have to see whether or not I want to go on with this project.

#4 I spoke with the leader of this band this week and he told me that he's going to work on finding a singer to complete the band. So maybe this will take off after the holyday season... I'm interested because, when playing with them, I felt the same "vibrations" that with the guys in project #2.

So that's how the situation is now. It was a good thing for me to write down all four project and figure out the pros and cons. Getting some feedback from you guys also helped me a lot sticking to my goals. I feel like I'm heading in the right direction and your comments are always very welcomed. Thanks!