i got married just last month....
thank you thank you, please hold your applause...

now i find that wearing this ring is quite a pain while playing..

i normally play match grip but now im getting pinched by the butt of the stick and my ring.

the wife isnt crazy about me taking my ring off.

any tips hints secrets or ideas...
(divorce is not an option)

thats quite the choke...

When I was younger, I destroyed all manner of watches and rings because of drumming.

When I got married, it was understood that jewelry would not go on my hands during drumming.  The compromise on my wedding band was that I could take it off during drumming, but I would put it on a matching necklace that had a clasp that would hold the ring.

Eventually, she understood that the ring would only come off during drumming, and now I have one of those fancy engraved ring holders on a desk near my drums that I put my ring on during drumming.

I think the turning point was when she took a close look at the ring and it had all kinds of marks and scratches on it.  She was irritated because the ring is titanium, and doesn't mark easily, but I choke the cymbals with my left hand, and the ring just gets beat up.

Offer up the necklace idea and see if that gets you anywhere.

First of all, congratulations on your marriage onmyown, I hope it is always as happy as your wedding day.

That being said, I've been married for 6 years and I've never worn my ring unless I'm going somewhere dressed nice.  I don't wear it everyday though and never when drumming for the same reason you've mentioned.

The reason I don't wear my ring is simple.  When I was younger and in the military, I watched a guy stand in the door of a Blackhawk and when he exited the bird, his wedding ring caught on the door latch and turned his ring finger inside out.  I'll never forget that site and right then I vowed not to wear a ring.

Use that story on your bride and see how she feels about you not wearing your ring while you play.  

That's what I've done. I got married about 16 months ago, and at first the ring bugged the hell out of me - I've never worn any kind of jewelry in my life. I play match grip, too.

I am a total sentimental fool, though, and even though our rings are cheapos and just there for the symbolism, I hate the thought of taking mine off. Anyway, I've now developed a callus around the ring, and now I don't even notice it any more when drumming.

Congratulations on your wedding!

Wear the ring.  You will becomed accustomed to the new feel in no time at all.  Before long you will not be able to drum without it!

You could get a tattoo of the ring.  Or get a ring made out of felt or neoprene-nice and squishy.  Other than that, I'd say give it some time to callous over, and if in a few months it's still bothersome, I'd take it off when playing.

Well, if you are a hand drummer, rings are a royal pain!

I play drums and percussion, so I have to have an option for taking the wedding band off.

My wife and I discussed the necklace/chain idea, but I was too concerned about the chain breaking and losing the ring. What I chose to do is take the ring off and put it in a "safe place" until I'm done playing. Trouble is I forgot one of the "safe places" and had to go out and purchase another wedding band!

I tried putting it in the watch pocket of my pants, jeans or slacks, but not every pant has a watch pocket.

My suggestion is that you and your wife discuss a place to put the wedding band when you need to take it off. That way it doesn't get lost, and you both know where it is if its not on your finger. She's not going to like the idea of taking it off, my wife didn't either, but after losing the first wedding band and knowing that I couldn't wear it to play hand drums, my wife is more than happy to have me leave it at home. When I was doing more club dates, she didn't like the idea of me not having my wedding band on ... like I was going to telegraph that I was single or something. I explained to her that I actually got hit on more when I was wearing the ring than when I wasn't (that's for an entirely different thread topic), so she likes me not to wear my ring.

I've never been a big jewelry person anyway, but the wedding band does bother me when playing the drums as it occasionally collides with the drumstick. I often times tolerate this on drumset gigs, but for studio sessions, the wedding band comes off! Not because of pain, but because of extraneous noise!

Although there are some cool sounds and effects you can get when wearing the ring ... you've got to be careful to not damage the drumhead, for example.

I've been married for 13 years and I don't take my wedding band off when I play.  I have never had to, it's a non issue.  Maybe I don't put as much thought into my craft as others, but the thought of my wedding ring getting in my way while drumming has never entered my mind.    

Oops same here!  Come to think of it, I did mangle my ring finger pretty good the last time I played the congas...



And come to think of that my conga heads look worn at the edge...

 

I stopped wearing anything on my wrist or fingers quite some time ago. Sadly I have the classic asthma/eczema combination, and would always get a nice crop beneath the watch strap and wedding ring most summers. My wife got used to me taking the ring off. I totally gave up on wearing a watch more than 15 years ago as an IT consultant (too many jibes about "how much is this meeting costing" every time I looked at it) and gave up on the wedding ring perhaps five years ago. My wife does not have a problem with it. It now lives in the bedside table (translation: night stand).

i choked up big time and it feels better!!

I cant stand wearing my wedding ring. My wife and I realize that or marriage is more than a ring. So I dont worry if she doesnt wear her and she doesnt worry if I dont  wear mine. Your newly married your is just a little possesive right now, she'll mellow out. Just take your ring off when you play and put it in a safe place (try putting it in the elastic of your sock). Just remember there will be bigger hurdles to worry about in your married life than weither you wear your ring when practicing. Ask her that if she cant handle something thats such a nonissue whats she gonna do when a real problem arises.

For any drummers yet to purchase their wedding rings ... I had mine custom made last year.  When my fiancee' inquired about a special design for a drummer, the ring maker tested my grip and developed the perfect design to accomodate my drumming.  

Although I doubted it would make a difference at the time, he actually squared the ring (reduced the roundness).  He further explained that a squared ring, while not very common, was a more natural fit as our fingers are in fact closer to being square than they are round.  

I purchased his custom design in a medium heavy white gold model ... and haven't even noticed it once while playing.   I use both trad and matched grip and practice or gig everyday.  

I was certain I would have issues ... and I'm just amazed that the squared design is so comfortable.  Essentially, there is less ring taking up space between my fingers.   The size of the ring was not compromised to accomplish this.   The slightly altered shape isn't noticeable except on very close inspection.   I couldn't be happier with it.  

If it would be helpful to anyone, I'd be happy to photograph the design of my custom ring if you are considering speaking with your ring maker about something similar to accomodate comfort while drumming ...

cheers

Pete  

Hi Felix- thanks for asking,  I'm doing great.   Met a girl, got married, bought a house, built a drum studio, had a beautiful baby girl 8 months ago and lots and lots of gigging.   Good times!   Hope you are doing well, also.    I'm still loving my Zild 18" China and 'A' crash (two former Felix victims!).    Also picked up a few new kits over the past couple years  (about 2 more kits than what I actually need).   And ... (hard to admit) ... among my snare drum purchases -an early 70's Acrolite!!   Of all my snare drums, it's one of two I take on every gig.   I don't know if the Acrolite discussion is still in gear ... it was the focus of a hot debate when I temporarily drifted from the D.Cafe scene.   Anyway, I'm yammering on again already ... great to see you're still around the Cafe!!  

I wear mine when I play kit, but not when playing Mallets (Stevens Grip).  That pinches a bit too much.  It doesn't bother me when playing kit though.  The wife doesn't really care, as she removes hers on occasion too (showers and horse riding/driving stuff).  Never been a big deal for either of us.