My only advice....
Try and get used to being self sufficient.
One thing you can try and do is distance your kit from any other loud sound sources.
On a recent tour i tried to set up behind the guitar and bass amps.
I asked fellow band mates to angle their monitors away from me.
As it happens, I tried not to have any drums in my monitors (if I had monitors).
Having the PA set up pointing towards the stage, doesn't sound like that great an idea to me.
You must have been blasted from all angles.
Your bandmates should be able to adjust too. If it was a small venue and not usually used for music, they may have been playing too loud.
In recent times I've worked on projecting my sound - strong bass drum and snare playing.
I've also worked on being OK if I can't really hear what I'm doing.

Mr. A, just curious, are you saying you use a different bass drum head for different venue/sound settings or just that this head works great for the situation described???

I have to agree with what Mr. A has said....But people like Keith, Bart, and many people who play various gig settings has various drumsets "set up" for "that" gig. That's also why I've purchased several sets. If I choose the right set many times mics don't need to be used. People who have only one set has to make what they have work for their needs. That's where knowing head choices, the room or venue, and mics come into play. I agree with the fact that I should be able to let the drums do the work, more than I have to beat the tar out of myself and my drums to do it. If you get educated on what "your" drums can do with certain heads you may overcome breaking sticks, heads, etc.... Then when you finally decide you need "more" it's time to purchase mics.... Most pro players can realize when they need a different drumset or mics. That comes with experience. But there was a time I didn't have that choice and just had to beat them to death.... I broke a lot of sticks and heads during those years.       If the place is small enough that they rarely use bands, my thinking would be not to even use anything other than a bass mic. They're not needed for that venue. I've played many times without a monitor. You just have to pay attention and listen harder. I prefer a monitor, but some settings a guitarist/leader has decided he needs the space more than I need the monitor. In that case I just play the gig, and if I mess up because I can't hear I bring it to the leaders attention. Then if we play that venue again he can decide which is more important. "His" gear or a monitor.....Most of the time a drummer will lose that arguement if it comes to that.       

Although I can use the same gear on most gigs, I always keep a stickbag full of options to help adapt to the volume requirements of the gig. I've got brushes, hotrods, and 7A, 3A, and 5Bs with me at all times. Most of the time I use 3As, but it's nice to have some room in both directions, for particularly loud or soft gigs.

Your set up and heads look fine chillman.
Very similar to mine.....and I had people asking me to 'turn down' in some smaller venues.
Perhaps it was just one of those nights?
They do happen every now and then.
'Experienced pro's' often find themselves in difficult positions where the sound isn't right, or they can't hear things properly. that's gigging!
That's what I alluded to before. Guys like Bart and Mr A are experienced enough to play a good gig, even if the circumstances aren't ideal.
Also, to chime in with Mr A.
I have a number of kits, but I own them for different sounds, not for varied gig situations.
I can play loud and soft on the same kit, with the same heads and same mics.

You definitely understand what I am trying to communicate. I think you're right: we just kinda have to remember how loud our drums are even if we're not "Feeling" them like we're used to. That's definitely the phenomenon I was getting at. Thanks for your feedback!

But what's with the crack about the USA? 

Well I've never had the privilege of playing in Europe (keeping my fingers crossed though) but I have had similar (but limited) experience with stages and venues. Sound quality is iffy at best, and I never count on being able to hear myself. And soundguys...that's another thread there I think. I mean, I only play rock clubs, but most soundguys are untrustworthy and difficult to communicate with. Of course, a few years of running sound at a bar would probably make me surly too. The best soundguy I ever met was a guy named Joe Kuhlmann at a venue called The Evening Muse in Charlotte, NC. He was talented and professional and kind. Otherwise, I've had pretty hit-and-miss experiences.

With only a kick mic, well, the snare will carry but I would make sure my toms were tuned for optimum sustain or ring as some call it. Getting the top and bottom heads as close as possible and I would tune em a little higher if you play with low tuned fat sounding toms. They'll project better.

Hi rca,
I agree with you in some sense but not all.  I work with a guy from time to time over a 30 year span that has played in the pro circuit and to him the monitor mix is more important than anything.
I wish I could say that I have played in front of 80,000 people but he really can. I am jamming with
him this Sunday.  He is going to help us do some recording on a digital recorder we haven't learned to use yet. He is now raising kids and running sound.
 I agree with you that the answer is not always to beat the drums harder. As far as the different rooms and sizes, your EQ is probably the most important piece of equipment. This thread was about playing unmiked.  You wouldn't play a large room/hall, unmiked.
Playing a small bar is different.  You need to play at a comfortable level so you don't cause the
crowd to go deaf.  The whole band needs to come down to the level of the drums.  Any sound school
will teach you that you sound check the drums first.  Then you bring the other instruments in at that
volume level.
                 Nutty

Just my 2 cents.. but In-Ear monitors saved my life.  I use some from a place called Precision Labs.  look for them on the web..  only $149.00 for custom molded in-ears ( you can even swim with them if you can find a water proof Ipod ).  My ears used to ring horribly after a night and it was a struggle to hear any of the band..  but i've fixed all that..

of course, I play hard too, comes from a drum corps background. but it's easier to play harder/louder when you aren't killing yourself with volume.

my setup is this.. an inexpensive 12 channel mixer behind the kit with me with an input from the main head aux out, a bass kick mic input ( because I can't hear my kick with the in-ears in ), and one overhead cond. mic.. ( although i've stopped using that as my vocal mic picks up enough drums for me to hear them.  So if you don't sing, you may need an overhead ). and my bass player gives me a line out from his amp.

I used to giggle when we'd play these moderately sized places.. and the sound guy would put all these mics all over my drums.   a 1 inch overhead cond. and kick mic is all you need for most places ( 2000 seat venues may be different ).  Most PA's are way too oversized and do nothing but muddy things up.

I have complete control of my own mix and I get enough guitar from the stage mics and I get the vocals from the PA aux out.

I use a samson headphone amp to drive the in-ears from an aux pre-fader out on the mixer.. and I give the PA one of the mains from my mixer for my vocals and kick drum.   I also play keyboards and use midi sequences with click tracks, so the in-ears also provide click isolation for me...but those are only 8 or 9 songs out of a night..

this way I can send as much kick mic and vocals out to the mains as I need.   Since we are self contained, we never use a sound guy, it's not a problem to repeat this setup night after night ( we are a 3 piece rock band... so we can play loud if we need to. ).  But we've been together for 13 years.. so we've had much practice at setting this up.

you can have this set up for the price of just a few gigs... and never worry about it again.  Most recently, I have added a 5 panel drum shield.  yeah, it looks like i'm afraid of people throwing things at me... but man, has it made a difference..
1.  the drums don't come through the vocal mics near as much.
2.  the drums don't kill the guitarist and bass player, so they don't turn up as much ( BIG SELLING POINT HERE )
3.  the whole volume comes down, makes bar owners happy, people aren't leaving because it's too loud.   If you need volume, use the overhead/bass drum mic to give it...  I love the drumshield..

I would be happy to explain more in detail about any aspect of this,  I really have the best monitoring setup that i've seen for a non big-name band.., I can't imagine playing a full night without it...