The metronome definitely helps. Also, just plain experience, playing and playing, especially live, helps. I think it's partially just developing confidence in your time sense. Bart's right, you gotta drive the truck, even if your timing is a little off that evening. I also agree with the concept of the time breathing. Timing is a means to an end-getting into the pocket and grooving. Once you're grooving, you're there even if the band rushes a bit or something. Playing with quartz locked precision is only important if you're a clock.
Other than that, one thing you can do if someone else is screwing up, is to play loud and simple. That's definitely NOT the way I prefer to play, but some of those big shots have made a career of it. Sometimes if you do that, you can kind of force things, or at least overwhelm the person who's screwing up.
Mind you, my preference is to play with musicians who play time well, so I can concerntrate on being musical and creative instead of just being a beatbox.
One other thing-don't feel too bad if your time isn't always infallible. A super sense of time and feel is one of those things that makes those big guys so successful. Obviously, most of us don't fall into that catagory.
Besides, they may have had a click, 30 takes, and Pro Tools.
