I am getting married on June 7th and really want to be able to incorporate me playing drums in the wedding ceremony since it is such a big passion of mine. We haven't been able to figure out a good way to do it. Everything seems like it just wouldn't work. Does anyone have any ideas for me? I am losing hope that I will be able to play.

LOL these few sentences say it all.  Sorry, I find it kinda funny, me being married and all as well. 

You have to let go of drumming at times when you are married and sometimes it feels like it is the hardest thing in the world to do, but remember that other person is more important than drumming or should be anyways.

Take a week or two off and forget about drumming is my advice if you absolutely have to get married.  I didn't play for a couple of weeks when I got hitched; It was actually nice.

When the honeymoon is over you can stay out all night playing gigs/rehearsing/recording whatev!  And boy that can test a marriage- believe me!

BUT if you hire the band see if they will let you sit in on a tune- should not be a big deal I guess if you are really paying big bucks for them!   

I'm soon to be engaged (if she says yes  ) and already wondering about reception music, too.  Most of my bandmates are good friends and will be invited to the wedding (some may be groomsmen).  I know they're going to be willing and excited to play at the reception, but I feel like it would be wrong of me to be behind the kit, tux and all, for any big portion of the night.

I have an idea that involves one of my usual bands, but with a fill-in drummer.  I would play just a handful of songs, maybe, and spend the rest of the night dancing with wife and family. 

We'll see...

I was married back in February. Being that I play in a band that plays lots of weddings (and my trumpet player was my best man) a lot of people asked me if my band was going to play. That was a big NEGATIVE. I told everyone in my band that they get the night off and to come to the reception and have a good time. Leave your gear at home.

We even (gasp!) hired a DJ for the receptoin instead of a band because my bride was (understandably) afraid that I would just watch the band all night and critique them instead of having fun. 

I told the band to ‘black out’ 2 weeks in February because I’m not playing any gigs the week of or the week after my wedding. I actually missed playing a gig at the Toyota Center for an Obama political rally. They got to have their picture taken with him and he even thanked them by name in his speech. They had a sub drummer.

Do yourself (and your future wife) a favor and take some time off. It will show her that she is the most important thing in your life.

Anyway, congrats! I love being married, even though it’s only been 6 weeks. Best decision I’ve ever made and I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING.

PS. There are other ways to incorporate drumming into your wedding. My grooms cake was a gigantic snare drum with 2 huge white-chocolate drumsticks.

Bart, that's one of the nicest musician weddings I've ever heard of, and I've played for many weddings over the years. 
I got a pass from the Army band. Came from Colorado Springs to Minnesota and got married in my parents living room. I wore my Army "dress blues" and my wife made her own wedding dress. She done a wonderful job on it. A friend was a professional photographer and took our wedding photos. My aunt baked our cake and done a beautiful job on it also. Our honeymoon was spent driving back to Colorado. Then it was back to work again playing music. Even tho it was a very small wedding, we're just as married as anyone else. In April we've been married 40 years.

I am ok with laying down sticks for the wedding and even before and after. No big deal. My fiance is all for me playing though because we would like to incorporate some of our biggest passions into the wedding if we can. We figure the wedding might as well be a reflection of who we are. She has no problem with my drumming because it has never really come before her. I have shown her already that she is more important to me than drumming is. I have teased her otherwise, of course, but my actions have proven to her that she is way above drumming in my eyes.

My vote is for:

- Fuhgettabout playing at the ceremony

- Play some tunes at the reception

A friend of mine had a cool wedding.  He's a drummer with his church's worship band and she's the vocalist/leader of her church's worship band.  After the ceremony, members of both worship bands got up together and played a set.  It was great. 

I guess it just depends on the situation and how you lay everything out.  I'm surprised how many of us said to just forget about playing.  I was inactive when I got married so I never thought about playing.  If my wife and I were getting married today, we'd play something together (she sings) somewhere along the line.  Absolutely. 

i think you set your drums up in the middle of the reception and play a 30 minute drum solo   a la ginger baker/keith moon/john bonham.

that'll get em!

Our son just go married...it went really well.....I played some light latin/folk stuff with a guitar player as people came in...after the ceremony, we played a reggae set together, ending with Rastaman Chant. For that song we invited hand drummers to come and join us..I brought 2 djembes and 3 congas...and percussion stuff....

After that I taught the drummers a quick version of a West African rhythm called Kuku....lots of dancing..they loved it....we switched out drummers a few times...and I joined back on the set....great fun...my arms were sore for a couple of days from the conga and hand drumming...overdid it....!