DRUMMER CAFE

My fiance likes to go to our gigs ocassionally but can be famous for getting ready slowly. Ive always been a get to the gig a half hour early guy and have waited for the getting make-up on the face girl now and then. Everyone cool with your chick, wife, fiance going to the gig?.

I've never even thought of this as an issue.  Back when I had gigs, they were at frat houses or events on campus that were walking distance from either of our townhouses, so we didn't ever arrive at places at the same time - she would come later with friends.  I don't know how it would end up if I was playing now.  Of course, I don't have a car now either, so we'd have to figure something out.

mine has little to no interest. to her, it's four hours of hanging out in a bar watching people slowly getting drunker and dumber all around her. she's not into that.

plus, it's a long time with basically nothing for her to do. and if she's not too impressed with whoever it is that i'm playing with, well, she's not shy about saying so.

as for fawning over me and pretending to be fascinated while i play? hahahaha. yeah, that'll be the day!

i think it's better and definitely more fun for all when they stay away...never mind if they make you late.

Luckily, my fiance is friends with my bass player's girlfriend, so they come to the show together, right about showtime.  This lets me leave early without expecting her to sit around by herself while I set up, and I don't have to worry about her making me run late.

I have no current girlfriend, but in the past I find that girls are usually interested and really into it for the first 3 or 4 gigs, then they feel some sort of obligation to go and don't really have fun.  Seems that girls at the gig (because they feel like they have to) are a bummer, even if I try to tell them they don't have to come.

women....

for the gigs close to home, my wife drives a separate car and usually stays for a few sets.  That way I can get there early and she does not have to stay all night.  She usually stays home for the out of town gigs.

my wife has'nt missed a show in 18 years, i think i'd be lost if she was'nt there, plus she gets all the women on the dance floor when they need motivated,before you know it theres 40 chicks on the dance floor, not to bad of a feeling when your on stage

Depends on the band, the venue, and my significant other.  I never take her to private parties or to places I wouldn't go to if I weren't playing there.  Beyond that it's mostly up to her.

I find a lot of times that I'm not great company on some gigs, and don't want the distraction of a gf there.  Other times it's nice to have someone on your side at the gig.

Basically, if I think she'll like the band and/or the venue, I probably want her there.

I actually covered this in a thread I authored that was something like "When your girlfriend becomes a critic".  A woman's presence can elevate your performance, or be an experience so foul that you'd prefer to creep out of the house anonymously.  My former gf(hah!) was a combative, obnoxious drunk person, so that made packing up even worse at the end of the night.  More than once, I did have to challenge land speed records to get to the gig on time.   Also, she also had an opinion about pretty much everything, informed or not, and often scowled if I didn't leap over my kit toward her following the last bar of a set.  She was also very jealous of pretty much all females.  That having been said, she did offer some valuable insight as to how some songs went over better than others, and did get people to dance.

Bottom line?  You are entering strange waters.  Not all women get it; it's not a true couples activity.  But, even the most out there ones will have something positive to offer; you just have to decide if it's worth the drama.



Dan