Alcoholism

[bonejoyII]

It's taken me quite a while to realize that I'm an alcoholic (this isn't as joke)...  I have a serious drink problem. :(

Any of you been where I am?  How did you deal with it?

[DRWM]

That, my friend is the first step toward recovery, admitting you have a problem.

Get yourself into a support group.  It will be tough, hang in there.

You don't have to drink to have a good time, or to function for that matter.  Good luck.

[mudpuppy]

BonejoyII,
This is a desease and must be treated as such. You must get proper assistance to beat it but know this ... IT CAN BE DONE. My wifes father and brother were in this situation, both extremely intelligent well spoken people. My father-in-law died from it. My brother-in-law had to be sent to a residential treatment center. He, it seems, is on the road to recovery. But not before it destroyed his marrage and many other things in his life. But his problem was that, for a number of years, he refused to admit that he was afflicted and as a result, did not receive proper treatment. You on the other hand have recognized that you need treatment. There are a great deal of support professionals and recovering people out there waiting to assist you with your difficulty. Take advantage of their experience and expertise and you CAN AND WILL GET BETTER!!! My most sincere best wishes...
MP

[Dave Heim]

Good luck, bonejoyII.  I feel as though congratulations are in order.  You're about to start a healthy recovery process, and that is truly commendable.

Moderators: would this thread be better in the Health section so it gets archived?

[bonejoyII]

Thanks.  It's taken me over six months to accept that I have a problem with it.  The turmoil that I'm in is that I think the social stigma of being an alcoholic would end my marriage.  I don't think my wife could accept it.  My wife isn't happy about the amount I drink, but I'm very secretive with my drinking., and she isn't really aware of the extent of my drinking.  If I told her I had joined a support group, I think it would only push her further away.  Basically, I have to do this on my own for the sake of my marriage and family, but I have been struggling for a few months now and am slowly getting worse....I'm finding it hard.

[Dave Heim]

These are difficult issues.  Perhaps you could discreetly get to one or two meetings of a support group and get some advice on the best way to deal with your particular situation.  

If not a face-2-face support meeting, there may be a number you can call so you can just talk with professionals about how to best handle things.

[Chip Donaho]

I drank heavy for a number of years....Then I got to the point I didn't like what I was becoming. Just like the people I didn't like. I rarely ever drink anymore. Very little....I just told myself, "That's it!"....Then took control of my own actions. I quit playing in bands that drink heavy. The band I play with now the leader belongs to AA. He recognized what he was doing to himself and got help....So I'm proud of what I did on my own with nothing but gutts and a strong desire to quit.... I now go to a band gig and have one drink. Then I cut myself off. Sometimes I think I do that just to test myself? It takes real control to do that. I've had many friends who've destroyed their lives. Four of them died at a young age. Plus my father in law, and my cousin died from booze....I put my money in my drums and my family motocross racing. I now make money in the bars instead of spend it back to them. I take my band money and put it back in my gear. I can now see where my money made playing goes. I couldn't always say that. Only "YOU" can do it. All the talking and meetings in the world won't do it unless "YOU" want to....Just take control for your own actions and stop.... I once again like myself. I once again respect "Chip".... You can do it too. Positive thinking and determination is what it takes. Don't make New Years Eve the last time you drink....Make it the first time you don't. That's the way I now think....   ;)   I wish you the best and have a wonderful 2005 without the booze.    8)

[Mister Acrolite]

The turmoil that I'm in is that I think the social stigma of being an alcoholic would end my marriage.  I don't think my wife could accept it.  My wife isn't happy about the amount I drink, but I'm very secretive with my drinking., and she isn't really aware of the extent of my drinking.  If I told her I had joined a support group, I think it would only push her further away.  

I think you may be surprised - she may be one of your best sources of support if you admit your problem to her. I've seen several marriages end because one person wouldn't admit or address their drinking problem, but I've never seen somebody leave their spouse because they admitted they needed help.

This is hard, serious stuff, but it's a good thing you're addressing it now, before it's too late. Good luck. Educate yourself on your support-group and addiction-control options, and make this your top priority.

[Chip Donaho]

If I told her I had joined a support group, I think it would only push her further away.  Basically, I have to do this on my own for the sake of my marriage and family, but I have been struggling for a few months now and am slowly getting worse....I'm finding it hard.

That happened to a friend. His wife was embarrased and left him. Only you know your wife better than anyone. I felt that this friends wife would have left him anyway. She was just looking for an excuse and used that as her way out. It is hard....But YOU can do it. If I did it so can you.... Let your achievments be your desire. I've got faith in YOU because you're here admitting it to some of the best friends you could ask for. You can control it with positive thinking.   ;)

[Roger Beverage]

Been there, done that.  AA saved my life.  The first marriage was already gone.  Going for help cost me a girlfriend but she is still drunk and I am 10+years sober.  

Go to a meeting and put yourself in their hands.

Roger

[Stewart Manley]

...I have to do this on my own for the sake of my marriage and family, but I have been struggling for a few months now and am slowly getting worse....I'm finding it hard.

I have to be blunt here, and please understand I am not doubting your own personal strength.

You cannot do this on your own. You need the support of a group and of your loved ones. Without it you will fail. This is a progressive illness, and the depths to which you will stoop for a drink and the effect it will have on all you love will be disastrous.

Alcoholism killed my mother at the age of 53. If you need a fright to get you on the path, PM me and I will see if I can manage to relate the circumstances of her death. It will be hard for me, and I certainly won't do it in public, but if it will help you I'll see what I can do.

[smoggrocks]

i have something of an addictive personality, but luckily i get way too sick if i drink past a certain amount. i can't stand the aftermath, so i don't push it. but i know many, many people and have had two boyfriends who were alcoholic. it can be a devastating thing.

you are really brave for confronting this and i agree that your wife may in the end turn out to be a good source of support. i'm not guaranteeing that, but if she doesn't like that you drink, she may stand behind you to see you stop. i hope so.

there are so many resources out there to help you help yourself. it's a tough road, but you're a tough guy, so you can change if you want to.

i wish you the best and hope your family will stand beside you.

[bonejoyII]

Thanks for all the advice everybody.  I'm genuinely ovwerwhelmed by your support.  This is a really helpful thread, and Moose, I wouldn't want to put you through any pain of reliving past events.  Just the account above is enough of an incentive where family are concerned.

Thanks everybody...

[Vintage Ludwig]

Hey Bonejoy-CONGRATULATIONS!  Admitting you may have a problem is the first step in the recovery process.  Nurture your relationships with family and friends for support, and look into AA for help.  It works.  Addiction of numerous sorts run strong in my family.  Its nothing to be embarrassed about-youd be surprised how many of us have that problem in our family tree (like almost everyone).  Addiction can be too much of anything w/o the ability to stop.  Booze, drugs, drums, cars, sex, porn, etc......
I was addicted to heroin and cocaine for nearly 10 years.  Some of my past associations are now doing time-some are doing life w/o parole.  I wont bore you with the details, but for me my life changed one day when I realized the hurt, pain, lack of trust, embarrassment etc. that I had caused my family and friends who really gave a crap about me.  I spent nearly 100k of my own money trying to get clean thru rehab centers.  THEY DONT WORK!  THERE IS NO CURE FOR ADDICTION.  I simply woke up one day and realized that if I didnt do something I WOULD END UP DEAD.  And that hit me like an Ali jab-in short, its all up to you man.  Nobody else and no amount of money will straighten you out.  Its all on you.  But you will be astounded at how much support you will recieve from family and people you dont even know.  As a result of my personal tribulations, I now do as much charity help to various groups, to help the addicted, those in prison for drug related non-violent offenses, and homelessness.  I look back every once in awhile at what I threw away for frikkin dope just as a reminder.  And Im very thankful that I got my act together, landed a 6 figure paying job, happily married and basically have what I want in life.  YOU CAN DO IT TOO-
GOOD LUCK MAN.

[William Leslie]

Having worked in a detox unit for a number of years, I know there is no cure for it. Admitting you have the problem is your first step. Becoming involved with a group cn=an be a great next step, and realizing you have to take it one day at a time can get you on the right track. I have a close friend that has been sober for about thirty years and he will tell you it is a long tough rode to travel. It will take all your strength and the understanding of your family and friends to help you on that road. It can be a bi**h on your health, so act fast as you can, Good Luck.

[smoggrocks]

Its nothing to be embarrassed about-...
I was addicted to heroin and cocaine for nearly 10 years... As a result of my personal tribulations, I now do as much charity help to various groups, to help the addicted, those in prison for drug related non-violent offenses, and homelessness... YOU CAN DO IT TOO-
GOOD LUCK MAN.

wow, quicksfoot -- what an inspiration you are! i haven't known many folks that bounced back from heroin, unfortunately. fantastic story.

i guess it's ok to say i had a mean coke habit in the 80s. so did everyone else, but i was dating a dealer and it made things so much easier and harder. i really put my folks through hell. i did like you and picked myself up after 1)getting rushed to the hospital 2)seeing my mom cry over me in the hospital bed. for me, it's always harder knowing i've hurt someone else more than i've hurt myself. :-\

chills.

[Vintage Ludwig]

I hear you.  Most of the folks I knew who were running at the time I was are either in prison, dead, or god knows where.  But I couldnt have done it w/o my family (mainly mom) and support from n/a and c/a and fellow addicts.  My heroin addiction came from blow really-I would snort a bit to nod off after being up for 5 or 6 days.  What a roller coaster ride that was.  But, the one person who helped me the most was my mother.  I get pretty emotional thinking about all of this-lest I never forget........

[Danno]

A.A. goes to pretty great lengths to insure your anonymity, so there's no social stigma involved in attending their meetings, because no one knows you're there unless you tell them that's where you're going.

[ben]

It's taken me quite a while to realize that I'm an alcoholic (this isn't as joke)...  I have a serious drink problem. :)

You can only change what you choose to acknowledge and accept.

I'd like to express my deepest admiration for this big step you just did. Thank you for being another human who decided to be real to himself and face things as they are. Authenticity and humility are very valuable qualities... and sometimes the hardest to express.

I discovered that life is a matter of choices and each and every of these choices have consequences...

There are consequences to face by admitting your drinking problem (as it is, without minimizing it) and there are consequences to face by choosing to close your eyes on it.

Getting real with yourself is the only way to inner peace and happiness. Don't even think about the people around you in your decision to admit your drinking problem... You're the one who's suffering and only you can take the decision to take care of that drinking problem. The people that loves you for who you truly are will stick by you no matter what.

I believe that life's telling you something to help you grow as a human being... It's up to you to listen with your heart.

Good luck.

[DRWM]

Hey bonejoyII,

How are you doing?  Have you been able to get some family support?  I hope you are well.

[Andrew]

I think the social stigma of being an alcoholic would end my marriage.  I don't think my wife could accept it. My wife isn't happy about the amount I drink... she isn't really aware of the extent of my drinking.

She probably knows more than she lets on. Man, I wish you all the best. I have a heavy drinker in the family, and it's really hard. And the hardest part is that she won't admit she has a problem, no matter how much evidence the rest of us show her. You're doing well by yourself. You're doing well by your family. Be strong. Accept help and support.

[bonejoyII]

I haven't looked at this thread for a week or two and didn't see some of the posts, but thanks for the support.  I've been trying to cut down on the booze.  Some days I'm OK, some I'm not.  I'm just taking things day by day at the moment, without too many great expectations.  I can see that from the very initial stages, it's taken me about 8 years to get to this point, so I don't think it can be turned round over night, and it may take as many years to get back to normal, but Ive made the first steps towards that.

I actually talked to my wife about it recently, and we tried to identify root issues for what drove me to become an alcoholic.  She was incredibly understanding and supportive.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad alcoholic!  I don't become violent and smash everything up, or urinate in the wardrobe.  I just drink far too much on a daily basis, and climb the walls if I can't drink for whatever reason.....

[agogobil]

"Alcoholism (have any of you battled with it?)" ... yeah, I battled and always lost.  It wasn't until I surrendered that I was able to stop (I learn this from others who were in the same boat).  I've been hanging with the winners for over 8 years now, one day at a time.  

Works for me (and many others).

Good luck, Bonejoy.  You have a choice today.

[Bullshark]

I was in the same boat as you - It nearly cost me my job and I was in a relationship with another alcoholic- It took me watching her health (both physical and mental) go downhill fast to admit to myself I had a BIG problem.  It sounds like you are "hitting the bottom of the barrel", which is what it takes in many cases.  I was driving to work one morning - looked at a my hands shaking because I needed a drink and pulled into a residential recovery center and checked myself in.  I stayed for 5 days (money well-spent), went through an intensive outpatient program after the residential center time and joined AA.  It has been over 2 years and it feels so great to be in control of my life.  Believe me - I know what you are going through.  You have to put it down.  I too tried "limiting" my consumption, but that just delays the inevitable.  As for your family - I hate to say it but we are talking life and death here.  You have to do this for yourself - before you can do anything for anyone else.  If they are supportive (I found that people I thought would look down on me for being weak actually admired my strength for admitting my problem and DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT) that is great.  If not - like I said - It is your life we are talking about.  I lost my relationship with someone very important to me but I gained back my life.  All my best to you and as they say in AA - one day at a time (PS - AA really does work!)  

[skaman]

And know, that this isnt any shame. My father refused help, couse he was in shame. Hi didnt want to admit that he was a drunk, even when whole village knew it. Than he was really seek, he was in comma for 2 months and had a hospital treatment for two more months (not alcoholist treatment). He had real luck to survive. God gave him another chance. He had a time to think about it in hospital and he realised that he was wrong. he dosent drink for few months now and he is well again but with lot of consequences. He already toally lost his familly: me, my mother, my sister, his sister... but now we are so happy for him, that he got us back.

Alcoholism totally damages your common sense, so you dont harm only yourself but almost everybody arrond you. You dont want to become a monster bonejoy11.

I 100 % support you and I apeall to you take your actin now! Begin with treatment now. You will be so happy when you make it, that you will cry and scream for few days.

You're gonna make it man!!!!!

[Rusty Beckett]

Its been about 5 months since this thread was started and how is BonejoyII doing?

I'm about 15 years clean and sober.  I had checked myself into a rehab center when I admitted I had a problem (hit bottom in plainer language) and the most help they provided was to direct me to get involved with AA or NA.  I was on the west coast, in one of the bigger cities in the Northwest and after jumping around different meetings found one called "Musicians in Recovery".  I attribute my sanity, sobriety and the ability to continue playing to the guys and gals I met in that group.  Most were working players and several were in some of the areas hottest bands.  

Id strongly recommend finding a support group.  Some of the "regular" AA/NA members couldnt identify with those of us who continued frequenting bars after deciding to quit drinking.  And, unless youre a player that only works in studios you will find yourself in places where drinks are available and drinking is encouraged.  The people in the MiR group were some of the best people Ive ever met in my life and if I hadnt left that area Im sure would still be good friends.

Through all that I discovered I could play and live well (even better!) without drugs and alcohol.

Good Luck . . .

[bonejoyII]

Thanks.

Has been a bit of a roller coaster couple of months.  I pulled back on the drinking and thought I had it under control just drinking moderate amounts, but relapsed and went even further into the alcohol abyss.  This only lasted a month or so, but I was out of control and really hit the bottom until a couple of weeks ago when I had a bit of a sobering experience.  It was like somebody had showed me a video of how my life had become...pitiful really.

I haven't touched a drop in over a week now, and I'm feeling OK.  First few days were a bit weird cos I kept getting the shakes.  It's probably the first time in over 6 years that my body hasn't had any alcohol in it.  I haven't gone to the AA yet, but if I lapse again then I'll go.

This thread has been helpfull, if only to be able to write about it and be concious of how I feel...as well as reading other peoples experiences

Thanks.

[Chip Donaho]

Just think about how far a $4,000 DUI could go towards new drums....  ;)

[Roger Beverage]

Drop in on a meeting and see what it is all about.  Just a suggestion.

Roger

[Drumodad]

Bonejoy,Hi I am Charlie and I`m an addict.Like it was said in previous posts,admitting it is a big step,some people with dependancy problems will never see it! I have been sober for over twenty years.Quitting booze for me was a must,not only for my health,and the health for those around me,but to break a cycle that has run in my family for more than three generations.It it genetic and we are all a product of our enviroment.I refuse to expose my kids to the kind of crap I grew up with. I lost my father to booze,I lost my stepfather to booze! I feel that someday the phone will ring with bad news about one or both of my brothers,they both still drink heavily,and refuse to see it.Quitting drinking was not hard for me,because I knew I had to stop.What has been,and still is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with is my drug addiction.I dont like to preach,so I will just say that I am in my third month of recovery,I go to N.A. meetings at least once a week,just got a sponser yesterday.Through N.A. I am able to abstain from use with the support from fellow addicts.This is the only way I can make it.Get a sponser,go to meetings,keep in your mind all the benefits of not drinking,all the downfalls of drinking. If you join A.A or N.A.,remember the most important part,keep coming back.I wish you all the luck in the world.

[bonejoyII]

Hi all.   Been away for a while.  Things are going pretty well regarding the drink because I'm more concious of it.  I have good periods when I'm in control, and inevitably bad periods when it controls me.  I saw Smoggs post about her neighbour, and one of the most famous alcoholics in the UK 'George Best' died this week.....as well as that, I got some stern words form my wife tonight....

WAKE UP time!!

I sold my V-drums, sold my maple kit, and haven't played for around 6 months now.  I've kept my VERY old kit that I started out with, but when my last band split up, that was it for me....I just can't be bothered anymore.....

[agogobil]

Best wishes to you, Bonejoy ... I do hope you use this opportunity to make a decision about where you want to go in life.  Many people don't get that chance.  

Remember ... if you need to chat, we're here.  PM, email, if you want.

We've been there.

[Roger Beverage]

Go to meetings.

Get a sponsor.

Stop trying to do it on your own.

Been there.

Roger

[Tae]

It's taken me quite a while to realize that I'm an alcoholic (this isn't as joke)...  I have a serious drink problem. :(

Any of you been where I am?  How did you deal with it?

One of my family members is in rehab for drinking. He said its a step by step thing. I don't know you but from experience with seeing this family member I am glad that you have taken your first step, admitting you have a problem. And the second step you have taken. Telling someone that you have a problem. The third step is facing the problem and getting help from others. I wish the best of luck to you.

[DrumsUp]

Maybe your wife is aware of your problem but afraid to bring it up.  Could be that if you tell her you have accepted the fact that it is a problem and are going to seek help, she'll be relieved and offer encouragement.  That's how it was for me.  No one feels as alone as someone who has a host of silent supporters.

Good luck and God (Allah, Buddha Cosmic Muffin) bless you.

[KEW]

A lot of people do quit on there own but you can end up with whatââ,¬â,,¢s called ââ,¬Å"dry drunk syndrome.ââ,¬Â  Itââ,¬â,,¢s when someone doesnââ,¬â,,¢t drink anymore but the alcoholic behavior and feeling miserable all the time continue.  This is where AA or some form of therapy comes in.
AA isnââ,¬â,,¢t about getting sober itââ,¬â,,¢s about living sober.

Good Luck

[Danno]

Go to meetings.

Get a sponsor.

Stop trying to do it on your own.

Been there.

Roger

What he said.

[rocksnob]

I was just forced to cease drinking due to health. I never drank anything but beer and wine, however, I started @15 and I'm 42 now. Anyway, apparently my liver swelled and the Doc said "Quit or Die." 'Nuff said. Luckily, I'm not having any problem staying away from it. Impending death had a remarkably sobering (pun intended) affect on me. Through a little research I discovered that I'm an alcohol abuser--not physically addicted, but drink until drunk every time. I really don't see the point in drinking and not getting buzzed. I'm an all or nothing kind of guy, so now it's NOTHING. Cool beans. I feel sooooo much better. From now on its healthy food, exercise and....oh Drumming!!!!!!!!!!!!! The best buzz and therapy there is as far as I'm concerned. Good luck Brother-Don't EVER give up. Get help and make sober friends. If you fall off the wagon-don't worry-just keep getting back on -That's the key. It's like living in water your whole life; and now that you are on dry land; all you can think about is jumping back in the water. Don't do it-move farther inland. I wish you the best of luck from the bottom of my heart.  

[eardrum]

The past 8 months, I've been in a band thats been playing at church based recovery meetings.  We've been doing approximately two of these gigs a month all over the SF Bay Area.  The people who come (including the band) really enjoy it but it's become very clear to me that "addiction" is a lot bigger problem than I ever imagined.  Four words come to mind "YOU ARE NOT ALONE".  There are folks who come to these things by court order (hey, how many of you have a judge sending you an audience?); there are folks who are dragged in by friends because they just hit bottom.  One of the speakers "found Jesus" at San Quentin after killing someone DUI - in the same meeting, we heard of another similar story.  Some of them look like the typical mom/dad across the street (they are!).  If you don't know someone suffering from this problem - you are wrong - it just hasn't hit the fan yet.  If you think you have a problem with any addiction, there are lots of places to get help - PLEASE, don't wait till you destroy your family, your liver explodes or you kill someone!!

[messerschmitt]

I was just forced to cease drinking due to health. I never drank anything but beer and wine, however, I started @15 and I'm 42 now. Anyway, apparently my liver swelled and the Doc said "Quit or Die." 'Nuff said. Luckily, I'm not having any problem staying away from it. Impending death had a remarkably sobering (pun intended) affect on me. Through a little research I discovered that I'm an alcohol abuser--not physically addicted, but drink until drunk every time. I really don't see the point in drinking and not getting buzzed. I'm an all or nothing kind of guy, so now it's NOTHING. Cool beans. I feel sooooo much better. From now on its healthy food, exercise and....oh Drumming!!!!!!!!!!!!! The best buzz and therapy there is as far as I'm concerned. Good luck Brother-Don't EVER give up. Get help and make sober friends. If you fall off the wagon-don't worry-just keep getting back on -That's the key. It's like living in water your whole life; and now that you are on dry land; all you can think about is jumping back in the water. Don't do it-move farther inland. I wish you the best of luck from the bottom of my heart.  

Hey, Rocksnob, I'm in the very similar position. Started drinking with the crowd (because it was "cool") at the age of 14 and have been drinking since. Since I've got married it has gotten better and now I basically drink only on some rehearsals and (still) ALL gigs. A few years ago I started to experience some kinda dull, uncomfortable feeling in the liver area. I did the liver-test thing and the results were bad. The doctor wasn't concerned, though. She said that those results can't be a drinking consequence and that a smart guy like me is not a wino prototype (I have a bachelor's degree in Economics and have a job with great income besides drumming). All of that cannot deny the fact that, just like you did, whenever I start drinking with the boyz from the band, I can't seem to stop, until I'm wasted. That's because I don't feel the pain while drinking, but only the following day/s, when I (again and again) swear to myself I will not do that again.
Recently I decided I will not drink alcohol AT ALL, except on gigs, which is like 3-4 times a month. In the meantime I started taking some pills which are supposed to help the liver work and @$%#...
Reading all this made me realize there are a bunch of ppl in this position.. I have a 1.5 year old daughter and I want her to grow up happily and have a living father in the meantime. :-) I have to find a way to quit altogether!

[agogobil]

...  a smart guy like me is not a wino prototype (I have a bachelor's degree in Economics and have a job with great income besides drumming). All of that cannot deny the fact that, just like you did, whenever I start drinking with the boyz from the band, I can't seem to stop, until I'm wasted. That's because I don't feel the pain while drinking, but only the following day/s, when I (again and again) swear to myself I will not do that again.
Recently I decided I will not drink alcohol AT ALL, except on gigs, which is like 3-4 times a month. In the meantime I started taking some pills which are supposed to help the liver work and @$%#...
Reading all this made me realize there are a bunch of ppl in this position.. I have a 1.5 year old daughter and I want her to grow up happily and have a living father in the meantime. :-) I have to find a way to quit altogether!

There are a lot of hints in the many posts above.  You can join a lot of other people with bachelor's degrees in economics and many other fields such as nuclear science and sanitation maintenence that were walking the same path and found a way out.  You don't HAVE to drink (alcohol anyway) with the boyz in the band.  You DO have a choice.

You can easily find a "bunch of ppl in this position"  http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_find_meeting.cfm]here .

Not sure?   http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_is_aa_for_you.cfm]Check it out .  Be HONEST.

Feel free to PM or email me (or anyone else that's chimed in here) if you want.

[Rylie]

I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess. My father was a daily drunk (quart of liquor per day) until age 65-ish. He went out to the woods alone and stayed until the shaking stopped, and never drank again.

I used to drink every day, and ingested my share of illicit pharmaceuticals through the years. All of a sudden I just lost the desire to be impaired. I may have a beer or two with my barbeque or dinner out. Three beers pretty much puts me down now, and I literally hate the feeling of being drunk.

I believe I'm genetically predisposed to addiction (drums, guitars, tools, etc. notwithstanding!), but blessed with the ability to convince myself I'm better off sober. The desire to drink is completely gone, and life is better.

[xXxBURYyourDEADxXx]

Not yet.

[Mark Counts]

wow, quicksfoot -- what an inspiration you are! i haven't known many folks that bounced back from heroin, unfortunately. fantastic story.

i guess it's ok to say i had a mean coke habit in the 80s. so did everyone else, but i was dating a dealer and it made things so much easier and harder. i really put my folks through hell. i did like you and picked myself up after 1)getting rushed to the hospital 2)seeing my mom cry over me in the hospital bed. for me, it's always harder knowing i've hurt someone else more than i've hurt myself. :-\

chills.

Smogg, your story hits home with me.  From 1979 through 1987 I had the same problem you did.  I have been clean for 19  years.  I did it on my own and never looked back.  I had to move away from all the people that were into it.  My wife, which I have been with now for 19 years said that I needed to make a choice. Quit it, or me.  I made the right choice.  I believe that we make choices in life.  You have to really want to quit.  Some people need support groups and some don't.  I just made up my mind and did it, just like I made up my mind to quit smoking 8 years ago and did it.  I have a friend that was drinking a 5th of Vodka a day.  He weighed over 320lbs and the doctor did blood work on him and thought his liver was so far gone that he was going to die.  His sugar levels were also messed up.  He never went to AA but it scared him so much he quit cold turkey and never went back.  He has been sober now for almost 3 years.  He did however need some anti depressents to help him get over the shock.  He doesn't drink anymore, but he smokes pot like crazy. He now weighs 210lbs. My brother in-law is a doctor and told me that he will be much healthier smoking pot than drinking.  He told me there are no proven health problems realated to pot smoking. This is a medical experts perfessional opinion.
Anyway, good luck bonejoyll, I will be praying for you!!!
                                               Nutty

[tatarsis]

Alcoholism is kind of an allergic reaction that any of us could have. However the results of that reaction would really be devastating. - Just because of this danger, I am sometimes having hard time to understand why the pot is banned and alcohol is sold freely.- My father was suffered dypsomania for several years and only remedy that he found is to never drink anymore and share his experiences about being sober with the other alcoholics. fortunately recovery does not take so much time, in just 1-2 years he was able to overcome the past side effects of his condition. Good luck.   

[Later66]

this is a problem that has been in my family for countless generations......they all started when they were my age and unfortunately so did i. that is until about a month ago now that i went overboard at a party and payed for  it the next morning. so i called my 2 best friends and told them never to let me drink again. the three of us have gone to 6 parties with alcohol since then and ALL of us took an oath to stay sober.....i have a hell of a lot of faith in this because i'm not alone by any means