How Do You Do It?

[Robyn]

I let him drop $700 on a new carburetor for his motorcycle. ::)  Then I get to look at new shells! ;D

Seriously--our agreement re: spending was that if either of us wanted to spend $500+ on anything we were to discuss it w/ the other. It's worked out that we pretty much clear any personal spending over a couple hundred (which is pretty rare for us anyway) w/ the other. Keeps things happy.
Both of us are pretty frugal and are into saving up for a big expenditure. Can you put away a certain amount each week/month til you have enough? And she can do the same for herself. Also, I'd highly recommend spoiling her w/ foot massages. I sucker for that pretty easily... ;D
And please tell your wife, (and this is coming from another woman here) that she needs to "get it," because drums are important to you! My mother doesn't "get it" either--my parents have worked their whole lives saving money, which is commendable. But they never spend it. Never. They never travel or have fun, are always on a "budget." (I asked my mother once why they were so tight w/ money. She said "what if one of us gets cancer?! It would wipe out our savings!" Then my dad got cancer. He's fine now, diagnosed early, good recovery. Between their insurance and medicare, they didn't spend a dime.). But, not having found the balance between saving and spending just to have fun, they are miserable people. Saving is important, but enjoying some of what you save is equally important. I guess I can look forward to a nice inheritance, but I'd rather they live their lives w/o any regrets.

robyn

[HDT]

Well, I've got to say... I am very encouraged by the comments thus far .  Thank you.  I believe I am going to HAVE to print this entire thing for my wife, so we can use it as a foundation for our talk about this subject. 8)

[lilblakdak]

My wife and i have an agreement. Anything over $200 we discuss with open minds. Anything under we dont worry about. No one person should make all the decisions in a familly. Its a team effort.

[Tiki]

I have never needed to explain to my wife that I need/want something. On the flip side she never has to explain to me what she needs/wants.  We both work hard for our money and buy those items we need/want. Saves a lot of arguments.

Last time I bought a new moptorcycle all she said was "Let's go for a ride!" .

Like some have said discuss the big ticket items and don't sweat the small stuff.

I just happen to married to one very cool lady!

Tiki....

[Todd Norris]

I just had a similar conversation with my wife.  Sometimes, she seems to understand the "need/want" factor with gear, but other times it escapes her.  Particularly when she realizes that she has no "high dollar hobbies" and I not only spend money on kit gear, but also on pipeband trips (like Scotland!).  

We recently may have made a break through where we each will keep out a few extra dollars out of each paycheck, kind of like an allowance.  This cash goes for eating lunch out or whatever we feel like.  I think we'll probably pool it for awhile to make bigger purchases.  No questions asked.  We just started so we'll see how it goes.  

[DWdrmr]

I buy what I want when I want...does'nt bother my cat..at least, she has'nt said anything, so far.. ;)

P.S...don't listen to me   ::)

[drumwild]

My car decides when I have extra money to spend. It found out I got a $500 holiday bonus and magically required $500 worth of repairs.

[smoggrocks]

My car decides when I have extra money to spend. It found out I got a $500 holiday bonus and magically required $500 worth of repairs.

doesn't that piss you off to no end? i remember when i was just starting to get ahead, my car's timing chain went out, then the brakes, then i finally blew the engine [that really hurt, especially after doing the timing chain]. that thing is still festering in my garage space. i think i saw mushrooms growing in it last i checked.

sorry for the derail. carry on...

[mapexdrummer1234]

Marry a Rich girl ;D

[William Leslie]

I'm lucky in the fact that my wife is a nurse and several of the Doctors at the hospital play for their own enjoyment or from time to time with a band. Some time back one of the dics said of all the musicians he admired drummers more than any other players. His reasond were that drummers work harder than anyone else in a band. All the equipment that have to load and unload and generally play the whole gig with out the brakes others take during the songs. Their instruments are used much harder and have to be replaced more often. This opened a big door for me. Now when I say I need to get what ever because of ware my wife says if you need to get it or replace it, do it. No questions asked. SOme times you just step in it. This is one of those times for me. The only hold up she still has is the purchase of a complete new kit. Add to the old one or repair it, just don't talk about a new kit. I still can't complain.

[Chip Donaho]

Marry a Rich girl ;D

I once thought that, then I realized the "rich" only hang with other rich people 90% of the time. I once dated a rich girl for a while. Then when her parents found out I wasn't from a wealthy family they did everything they could to discourage our relationship. Sorry to pop your baloon, but life doesn't work like that. At least not for me. I've had to work for everthing I have and don't ever expect that to change.  :P  So much for that subject....   ::)
Now back to the topic.  

[efaubert1]

Case example of today. Sold my Z Dyno Beats yesterday on ebay, bought Sabian AAX studio pies today. Wife sees me paypaling and emailing, goes off "What did you buy now?" Nothing really dear, I sold my old hi-hats and bought different ones for $5 less I replied, showing her the paypal transactions. "Oh, ok" All in handling it I guess

[lilblakdak]

Next time she buys makeup ot a new purse react the same way she does . She'll get the hint.

[Louis Russell]

Next time she buys makeup ot a new purse react the same way she does . She'll get the hint.

Maybe, just maybe you will win that one battle but you will lose the war in the long run!   ;D

[nudrum]

Maybe, just maybe you will win that one battle but you will lose the war in the long run!   ;D

Good point Louis!
Compare what she spends on "nonessentials" to what you spend on them. If she spends less you will need another point of attack.

[lilblakdak]

Maybe, just maybe you will win that one battle but you will lose the war in the long run!   ;D

13 years 2 kids, Its worked so far.All Ive got to say is she's supposed to be your wife (partner teamate, ect) Not your mom. I work hard for my money and Im also a mature adult. She knows I can make responsible decisions about money. If she feels She has the right to berate me about spending money I feel I should be able to do thee same. We are equal partners not one in control of the other.