Classic Classifieds

[7lazy8]

Must be less than obese

I'm equal to obese, does that count for anything?

[oxford]

Part of LONG post in online classifed 4-28-0-2005
_______________

We understand there's a massive shortage of drummers in San Diego. At any given time there are like 30 bands vulturing on the drummer market here, all claiming to be the hardest, coolest, ballziest, whatever band.

Sure we dream of finding the perfect drummer... one who can play solid metal 16th notes on double bass at 180 BPM with perfect timing and unreal creativity... one who has the chops to play more than 15 minutes without passing out... one who is mature, has a real job, pro gear, and money for studio rent, recording/live experience, etc... one who doesn't flake on practice, or shows up with a bag of weed hoping to get high on our time... one who is not only a great drummer, but also a cool person who we can relate to on more than a music level... one who has a REALISTIC outlook on his career in music. BUT REALITY PREVAILS.

We realize this drummer doesn't exist. And if he does, he is already married to a band who is willing to blow him on a daily basis to keep him happy. These bands make weekly promises of record contracts, and are willing to go to any extent to get just a whiff of fame.

Therefore, WE are just looking for a drummer that is willing to rock. That probably sounds gay but it's the truth.

[Steve Phelps (Shoeless)]

My family are bailbondsmen so if you go to jail, bail is free.

Isn't it great how friends and family members' services come into play once you get into a band. Everyone has something to offer!

[oxford]

4/30/2005 backstage.com
-------------
very inexperienced and a bit clueless. looking for a place of growth. must be in the pacific beach area, no car. i'll need your patience and open mind to grow. clueless to? peace (858) 490 0295.
Location: Pacific Beach

[Steve Phelps (Shoeless)]

Description
Fire Your Bass Player

He is annoying, drinks too much, and is hitting on your old lady RIGHT NOW while you are on the computer. Isnt it time for a change? Hell thank you some day.

Im experienced and versatile. I'm not looking for a career, Ive already got one; I just love to play bass. Even though I dont want to play full time, I am serious about performance, and committed to any project that I agree to undertake. Yes, I am a wise-ass. Is there a problem with that?

What Id like to play: pop/rock, jazz, R&B, and contemporary blues. The wider the variety, the better. Covers dont have to suck. No, really.

What Id rather not play: originals (any style), harder rock, heavy metal, 80's big-hair rock, Christian music, country, or angry alternative stuff. I like a lot of this music, I just dont really want to play it. A little of any of it could be interesting, but a lot of any would not! I mean, its cool to do a Van Halen song, or Willie Nelson, or Foo Fighters, just not ALL NIGHT. Writing and recording originals is not a priority for me. At all.

I just want to play fun, interesting, and popular music, and play it in front of an adoring audience. It does not matter if it is a three-piece combo or ten-piece band. Hey, you kids, Im old enough to be your dad! Whats that all about? Where did the time go?

I have good equipment, stage presence, a clue, and even some vocal ability if that helps. Email me for more information, or to set up an audition. Thanks!

[Stewart Manley]

I like him.

[Drumodad]

Heres one I remember seeing awhile back,and honestly,It wasn`t from me.        Drummer looking to start/join band,you must have experience,pro. equipment,rehearsal space,gigs,and major label interest.If you have a drumset that would be good too.                   I wanted to call just to see if he had a set of sticks or did he want them supplied for him also!

[ritarocks]

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
Professional band seeks a new drummer.. previous drummer couldnt handle the rough times on the road. drummer must have custom kit, no tama, pearl, mapex, ect. we make marketable music but have deep roots in the scene. drummer has to know what im talking about without me explaining or we wont blend well. must have double bass, and be ready at a moments notice to tour. we DO tour. we have a good fanbase here, email or call me. do NOT NOT NOT waste my time.
Name: blake
Phone: xxxxxxxxxx

[7lazy8]

drummer must have custom kit, no tama, pearl, mapex, ect.

Wtf is up with that??  ???

[Dave Heim]

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
. . .drummer has to know what im talking about . . .

Huh?  What's he talking about?

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
. . . be ready at a moments notice to tour. we DO tour. . .

really?  Without a drummer?  How odd.

[Drumodad]

. drummer has to know what im talking about without me explaining or we wont blend


Does this mean I would have to  be telepathic?

[Dave Heim]

. drummer has to know what im talking about without me explaining or we wont blend


Does this mean I would have to  be telepathic?

Yeah.  And for the record... I knew you were going to post that.  :)

[Steve Phelps (Shoeless)]

Not exactly a classified, this from the drummer's bio page from a Zeppelin tribute band.

XXXXXXX began playing the drums at the age of 4.  In high school he played with the band "Switch 56."  The band recorded a three song demo at Metrosync studios with producer Kevin Raleigh, and played many shows around Cleveland for four years.  In college Bob played with "Tri Nimbus", who won the Battle of the Bands for Dance Marathon in 2004.  

XXXXX is now a graduate of Bowling Green State University with a Bachelor of Arts in Communication.  He has been studying Recording Technology for three years, and he recently recorded and produced Heartbreaker's demo.  Interests include recordng, drinking, skiing and drinking, softball and drinking, eating and drinking, peeing and drinking, drinking and drinking.


Glad to see you're perpetuating the stereotype, bro!

[Drumodad]

Dave,dont go into my brain too far,those who have never returned,and let me tell you,its worse than you can imagine!Theres even a sign that says enter at your own risk.Thats why I myself dont delve too deep.I shudder just thinking about thinking!

[mes]

Hello,
I am in SD /3/05-6/6/05.  I am looking for a Drum Cafe for public drumming....like a coffee shop with open drumming!  Any ideas?
MES

[Steve Phelps (Shoeless)]

Drugs and drummers:

ALTERNATIVE ROCK BAND seeks a "druggie" drummer. Ideally, we'd like someone who can bring great musical ideas, rockstar attitude, pro gear, and a "big city" attitude. Basically we want a functional drummer who's a bit wreckless.

No Kids, No Grandpa's. Must totally enjoy jamming for hours, and driving home some intense alternative rock. Must have solid, and the ability to listen well. Must have great equipment. Must be older than 21, younger than 30.

WE love the Smashing Pumpkins. If you can handle that type of music, we can bring the noise.

Drugs welcome (none of this "sober" crap).

[Dave Heim]

Drugs and drummers:

ALTERNATIVE ROCK BAND seeks a "druggie" drummer. Ideally, we'd like someone who can bring great musical ideas, rockstar attitude, pro gear, and a "big city" attitude. Basically we want a functional drummer who's a bit wreckless.

No Kids, No Grandpa's. Must totally enjoy jamming for hours, and driving home some intense alternative rock. Must have solid, and the ability to listen well. Must have great equipment. Must be older than 21, younger than 30.

WE love the Smashing Pumpkins. If you can handle that type of music, we can bring the noise.

Drugs welcome (none of this "sober" crap).

Yes, something tells me they can most certainly, in fact, bring the noise.  :)

[David Jung]

Posted at the Baylor University student union building around 1979...

Wanted Really Bad
     Drummer!!!


I figured my skill set could be classified as bad so I called, auditioned and we played together for several years and are friends to this day.  And to think I might have passed them up if I'd known they were only desperate to get a drummer.

--David

[Steve Phelps (Shoeless)]

Hoooo Boy! ::)


Sophisticated, Powerful Drummer Sought

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: dayton@theepsilonrising.com
Date: 2006-03-29, 11:30AM EST


Revolution.

We are a power and finesse vocalist/harmonica player/songwriter and a bassist/keyboardist/multi-instrumentalist seeking a drummer of equal caliber (John Bonham) for an original and touring band. We will be touring Europe this summer.

We hold real finances to be used for a solid, independent project/partnership. As a vocalist and harmonica player, I have few equals. (Though I also play some guitar, usaully in open tunings for delta blues derivative music, and some percussion, I'm a vocalist.) The bassist, in his sphere, bass/keyboard/mandolin/etc. is equally as authoritative. We will be auditioning for our guitarist seperately and guitar will not be reflected in all the provided recordings.

I speak from the fire and strike heavy with of the sword, in a chorus championing people long oppressed and long suffering. Music is the gift from God to definitively pronounce our uprising and redemption. This means the poor, the meek, and the oppressed.

The name of this band is: The Epsilon Rising.

We are seeking a drummer/percussionist who has a command of dynamics, who creates melodies, and then counter-melodies, and then more in his playing that intermingles with the bass, guitar, and vocals in meaningful ways that goes beyond "just keeping the beat" or "pocket playing". We desire a drummer who gives off the impression of hard-hitting, stick-twisting band foundation at one moment, who equally commands elegants with brushes or a low key ballad. Though jazz IS a must, without the authoritative, aggressive backbone, it would not be appropriate for this band. Our drummer must rock. Equally, the typical "rock" drummer who is just loud and repetitive, or is overly obsessed with counting numbers as in a "Tool-like" fashion would also be inappropriate for this band. Our drummer will be equally concerned with sophistication.

If a song requires an over dub of congas, finger cymbals, tympani, or, maracas, you would have this awareness and the sensibilities to apply them in a thought-provoking way. Consistently, when a person listens to our band, we wish them to hear the drums and say "wow"! An understanding of ROCK/blues/J A Z Z /bluegrass/old country/classical/bossa nova/punk/reggae/etc. is a must and only the tip of the iceberg as of the songs that we will be creating. Whether originals, traditionals, covers, rearrangements -- there are no limitations or rules in our methodology. Simply put, we are seeking the drummer who believes that he has the potential to be the best ever, as part of the greatest band ever, and it is his life ambition to realize that end. While pushing the barriers of percussion, the drummer will elevate are music to an even more profound statement.

Not everyone believes in this in themselves, let alone others. If this is not you, or you do not believe that we are the forum to compliment your talents, or you are in disbelief of this opportunity, remember, there are other bands for you. We wish to hear from people who feel a connection to our music and can actually prove through music that they can create it and enhance our vision.

Our goal is to continually create classic songs that we can call our favorites, to be hyper-jammed out live, with exceptional stage presence. After written and recorded, our songs will still constantly evolve in the live set. The drummer of this band will that take all of us to the rock higher and vice-versa, we WILL inspire and expect the same from you. Though we desire someone in a similar age bracket, 21 - 29, for similarities in life focus (music first), come one, come all. Again, we will be touring Europe starting summer 2006, so any "issues" (girlfriend, school, family, fear) will not work in this situation. You must feel that pursuing music in this way is your destiny. In fact, if you feel that the words that I'm writing are somehow your own ideas, that's what we're talking about.

The less limits you have, the better. Regarding image, the longer the hair, the better. If you believe in revolution through music, and you have your place to prove in the world of musical giants, then this is the opportunity you have been seeking. Ethnicity is encouraged as we are dealing with the reality of God and all man, not just modern white materialistic, celebrity craving "reality", but truly, the counter culture of human reality.

However, be you black, asian, white, latin, indian, etc, if you have the soul (backed by musical recordings), the spirit of music, then it's game as music is color blind; an auric utopia.

This band hails from the mystics and spiritual, exploring dark and light, as we know that Christ is the Forever King at all cross roads, and the that the people are the poor and downtrodden. We view ourselves as champions of that cause, the representation of liberation in the hearts of the people.

I'm not interested in an e-mail or phone liasons as experience tells us that it produces very little. I'm interested in music. As such, we are providing four recordings on the web site that we would like you to listen to gain a perspective of how we are approaching music. To successfully audition for this band, please provide us with as many songs as possible which demonstrates a diverse and masterful understanding of drums and percussion. To make and extra effort, you could overdub drums to the song "Waves" provided on our website and/or provide a drum solo piece. From this we will be able to get a gauge of your essence and creativity. Low quality recordings are fine, so make the recordings happen with whatever means you have, if necessary.

If we feel that the package you send demonstrates our match, then we will fly you to Europe as our drummer. DO NOT REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL WITHOUT INCLUDING THE MUSIC REQUESTED ABOVE AND PICTURE. We ask for a picture because if you are afraid that your image won't go over well, you are probably right. A TOURING musician does not have these insecurities and can not in order to be successful at conveying the imagery that we wish to convey. Nevertheless, music will be the determining factor.

Double read this!!!! ---This is for a serious, DISCIPLINED, dedicated musician who is in our mindset and wishes to audition for this band. Come with the expectations of working, critiquing, being critiqued, long songwriting sessions, use of white boards and notes, discussing theory, long recording sessions, playing out often, being in a bus often, and awful lot of practing and rehearsing, frustrations, communicating, success and fun!!! I mentioned practicing because we plan to continuosly push our limits, and being satisfied with the level we are at is complacency, and not a part of this band. If what we are asking to complete this audition seems demanding, we recognize it is. If you are unable to go this distance, then this band is not for you. There are many others to audition for or create on your own. It is not necessary to critique our expectations, but rather we hope that you take a pro-active approach and create great music that meets your own vision!

Again, we self-critique and explore many variations of our music and covers. What we do not do is compromise our music in order to avoid dissagreements or tension and just "move on". This is a way of life, my life, the bassist's life, and in this band, we struggle with the music until we are all satisfied. Please be in the same mindset and have experience working in this manner. If you can not take constructed criticism, or give it, if you can not focus in on the same song for days and weeks as it evolves, then this band situation is not for you. If what we are saying is does not reflect your personality, save your time and words as this band is not for you -- there are many other bands to audition for to suit your expectations or create a band in your own image. This is for a drummer in our image, and it is not for everyone, but one.

I will mention that this is niether a "straight-edge band" nor "pro-drug" band. We do smoke cannibus but have no expectations for the drummer of this band other than great music. YOUR RECORDINGS, whether professional studio or from a tape deck, will speak for themselves.

Again, in your e-mail response please send a link or attachment to your audition recordings and a recent photograph. Responses without this, will not be considered!!!!


We have links to the rough drafts of the music you will use to understand our music complete your audition at:


http://www.theepsilonrising.com

These are not final products, but will provide plenty enough foundation to successfully provide perspective completing the audition recordings. Again, a drum overdub on the song Waves will mean bonus points, as it shows the effort that we are seeking. We anticipate that it will take you some time to learn and some significant effort.

I must stress that this band has no singular "style", as others have failed to grasp the concept that as musicians we play music. The unifying standard is that the music we produce is consistently classic. The sound sketches here are indicative of different expressions on different days. All of which we wish to develop further in addition to much, much more.
If your audition proves you to be our drummer, we will provide you with airfare to Europe and advance shelter expense as we live as a band together developing our set for the first two to three months.

The drummer who successfully fulfills the audition and that we select will have the option to receive a weekly living advance in addition to shelter cost. This is, in fact, the opportunity for actualization of the musical dream for the drummer in our image and mindset.

----

to stand amongst giants:

led zeppelin - jimi hendrix and the experience - cream - nirvana - pink floyd - radiohead - the doors - weather report - pearl jam (pre no code) - debussy - the velvet underground - the beatles (post revolver) - rage against the machine - charlie patton - bach - robert johnson - the guess who - alice in chains (dirt and beyond) - james brown (early) - the flaming lips - beethoven - blind melon ( later ) - bob marley - jeff buckley- regina spektor - bjork - hawkwind - tori amos - the greatful dead (early) - credence clearwater revival

may we go forward.

[Dave Heim]

Hoooo Boy! ::)


Sophisticated, Powerful Drummer Sought

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: dayton@theepsilonrising.com
Date: 2006-03-29, 11:30AM EST


Revolution.

We are a power and finesse vocalist/harmonica player/songwriter and a bassist/keyboardist/multi-instrumentalist seeking a drummer of equal caliber (John Bonham) for an original and touring band. We will be touring Europe this summer.

We hold real finances to be used for a solid, independent project/partnership. As a vocalist and harmonica player, I have few equals. (Though I also play some guitar, usaully in open tunings for delta blues derivative music, and some percussion, I'm a vocalist.) The bassist, in his sphere, bass/keyboard/mandolin/etc. is equally as authoritative. We will be auditioning for our guitarist seperately and guitar will not be reflected in all the provided recordings.

I speak from the fire and strike heavy with of the sword, in a chorus championing people long oppressed and long suffering. Music is the gift from God to definitively pronounce our uprising and redemption. This means the poor, the meek, and the oppressed.

The name of this band is: The Epsilon Rising.

We are seeking a drummer/percussionist who has a command of dynamics, who creates melodies, and then counter-melodies, and then more in his playing that intermingles with the bass, guitar, and vocals in meaningful ways that goes beyond "just keeping the beat" or "pocket playing". We desire a drummer who gives off the impression of hard-hitting, stick-twisting band foundation at one moment, who equally commands elegants with brushes or a low key ballad. Though jazz IS a must, without the authoritative, aggressive backbone, it would not be appropriate for this band. Our drummer must rock. Equally, the typical "rock" drummer who is just loud and repetitive, or is overly obsessed with counting numbers as in a "Tool-like" fashion would also be inappropriate for this band. Our drummer will be equally concerned with sophistication.

If a song requires an over dub of congas, finger cymbals, tympani, or, maracas, you would have this awareness and the sensibilities to apply them in a thought-provoking way. Consistently, when a person listens to our band, we wish them to hear the drums and say "wow"! An understanding of ROCK/blues/J A Z Z /bluegrass/old country/classical/bossa nova/punk/reggae/etc. is a must and only the tip of the iceberg as of the songs that we will be creating. Whether originals, traditionals, covers, rearrangements -- there are no limitations or rules in our methodology. Simply put, we are seeking the drummer who believes that he has the potential to be the best ever, as part of the greatest band ever, and it is his life ambition to realize that end. While pushing the barriers of percussion, the drummer will elevate are music to an even more profound statement.

Not everyone believes in this in themselves, let alone others. If this is not you, or you do not believe that we are the forum to compliment your talents, or you are in disbelief of this opportunity, remember, there are other bands for you. We wish to hear from people who feel a connection to our music and can actually prove through music that they can create it and enhance our vision.

Our goal is to continually create classic songs that we can call our favorites, to be hyper-jammed out live, with exceptional stage presence. After written and recorded, our songs will still constantly evolve in the live set. The drummer of this band will that take all of us to the rock higher and vice-versa, we WILL inspire and expect the same from you. Though we desire someone in a similar age bracket, 21 - 29, for similarities in life focus (music first), come one, come all. Again, we will be touring Europe starting summer 2006, so any "issues" (girlfriend, school, family, fear) will not work in this situation. You must feel that pursuing music in this way is your destiny. In fact, if you feel that the words that I'm writing are somehow your own ideas, that's what we're talking about.

The less limits you have, the better. Regarding image, the longer the hair, the better. If you believe in revolution through music, and you have your place to prove in the world of musical giants, then this is the opportunity you have been seeking. Ethnicity is encouraged as we are dealing with the reality of God and all man, not just modern white materialistic, celebrity craving "reality", but truly, the counter culture of human reality.

However, be you black, asian, white, latin, indian, etc, if you have the soul (backed by musical recordings), the spirit of music, then it's game as music is color blind; an auric utopia.

This band hails from the mystics and spiritual, exploring dark and light, as we know that Christ is the Forever King at all cross roads, and the that the people are the poor and downtrodden. We view ourselves as champions of that cause, the representation of liberation in the hearts of the people.

I'm not interested in an e-mail or phone liasons as experience tells us that it produces very little. I'm interested in music. As such, we are providing four recordings on the web site that we would like you to listen to gain a perspective of how we are approaching music. To successfully audition for this band, please provide us with as many songs as possible which demonstrates a diverse and masterful understanding of drums and percussion. To make and extra effort, you could overdub drums to the song "Waves" provided on our website and/or provide a drum solo piece. From this we will be able to get a gauge of your essence and creativity. Low quality recordings are fine, so make the recordings happen with whatever means you have, if necessary.

If we feel that the package you send demonstrates our match, then we will fly you to Europe as our drummer. DO NOT REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL WITHOUT INCLUDING THE MUSIC REQUESTED ABOVE AND PICTURE. We ask for a picture because if you are afraid that your image won't go over well, you are probably right. A TOURING musician does not have these insecurities and can not in order to be successful at conveying the imagery that we wish to convey. Nevertheless, music will be the determining factor.

Double read this!!!! ---This is for a serious, DISCIPLINED, dedicated musician who is in our mindset and wishes to audition for this band. Come with the expectations of working, critiquing, being critiqued, long songwriting sessions, use of white boards and notes, discussing theory, long recording sessions, playing out often, being in a bus often, and awful lot of practing and rehearsing, frustrations, communicating, success and fun!!! I mentioned practicing because we plan to continuosly push our limits, and being satisfied with the level we are at is complacency, and not a part of this band. If what we are asking to complete this audition seems demanding, we recognize it is. If you are unable to go this distance, then this band is not for you. There are many others to audition for or create on your own. It is not necessary to critique our expectations, but rather we hope that you take a pro-active approach and create great music that meets your own vision!

Again, we self-critique and explore many variations of our music and covers. What we do not do is compromise our music in order to avoid dissagreements or tension and just "move on". This is a way of life, my life, the bassist's life, and in this band, we struggle with the music until we are all satisfied. Please be in the same mindset and have experience working in this manner. If you can not take constructed criticism, or give it, if you can not focus in on the same song for days and weeks as it evolves, then this band situation is not for you. If what we are saying is does not reflect your personality, save your time and words as this band is not for you -- there are many other bands to audition for to suit your expectations or create a band in your own image. This is for a drummer in our image, and it is not for everyone, but one.

I will mention that this is niether a "straight-edge band" nor "pro-drug" band. We do smoke cannibus but have no expectations for the drummer of this band other than great music. YOUR RECORDINGS, whether professional studio or from a tape deck, will speak for themselves.

Again, in your e-mail response please send a link or attachment to your audition recordings and a recent photograph. Responses without this, will not be considered!!!!


We have links to the rough drafts of the music you will use to understand our music complete your audition at:


http://www.theepsilonrising.com

These are not final products, but will provide plenty enough foundation to successfully provide perspective completing the audition recordings. Again, a drum overdub on the song Waves will mean bonus points, as it shows the effort that we are seeking. We anticipate that it will take you some time to learn and some significant effort.

I must stress that this band has no singular "style", as others have failed to grasp the concept that as musicians we play music. The unifying standard is that the music we produce is consistently classic. The sound sketches here are indicative of different expressions on different days. All of which we wish to develop further in addition to much, much more.
If your audition proves you to be our drummer, we will provide you with airfare to Europe and advance shelter expense as we live as a band together developing our set for the first two to three months.

The drummer who successfully fulfills the audition and that we select will have the option to receive a weekly living advance in addition to shelter cost. This is, in fact, the opportunity for actualization of the musical dream for the drummer in our image and mindset.

----

to stand amongst giants:

led zeppelin - jimi hendrix and the experience - cream - nirvana - pink floyd - radiohead - the doors - weather report - pearl jam (pre no code) - debussy - the velvet underground - the beatles (post revolver) - rage against the machine - charlie patton - bach - robert johnson - the guess who - alice in chains (dirt and beyond) - james brown (early) - the flaming lips - beethoven - blind melon ( later ) - bob marley - jeff buckley- regina spektor - bjork - hawkwind - tori amos - the greatful dead (early) - credence clearwater revival

may we go forward.

Holy Text-o-Rama, Batman!  I hope they didn't pay by the word!  I started reading it, and then when I hit "John Bonham" in the first paragraph it was like a literary speedbump and I stopped.