To Our Dear Friend Gaddabout -

[Chris Whitten]

Terrible news.
I can't begin to think.....
Matt, I don't know you in real life but you are a great guy on the internet, and as such you've given me a lot of pleasure over the years.
I hope someone or something can give you some strength to get through this OK.
I'll be thinking about you.
Aaach,  :-X words are not enough I'm afraid.

[Tim van de Ven]

Matt, I am truly sorry for you. Words seem inadequate at this time...

Please, be well.

[Christopher]

Very sorry Matt.

Chris

[Steve "Smitty" Smith]

Matt:

I'm so sorry to hear this news.  Please hang in there as best as you can.

Steve

[smoggrocks]

oh, man. i just caught this.

i am so, so, sorry gaddy. you really have my utmost sympathy. please take care of yourself during this very tough time. we understand that you need downtime. i hope you find comfort in your family, your faith and your friends.

deb

[Todd Norris]

Hey folks,  I just thought I'd give an update.  Matt seems to be doing as well as one could hope in light of this.  It's been 2 weeks now.  I went to the memorial service here a week ago Wednesday and it was very nice.  It gave me greater perspective into who both Matt and Jess are. 

Matt's been posting very insightful and touching blogs on his facebook page.  I really think his written expression will help immensely in his healing. 

This weekend he is out-of-town doing another memorial service, presumably in Jess' hometown, so he will be reliving a lot of this again. 

[Robyn]

Todd, had Jessica been ill for a while? Seems I remember that.

Losing someone gets better, but it's always there.

robyn

[eardrum]

Todd, thanks for the update.

Gaddy, if you're checking in once in a while, just know we are thinking of you and praying for the "peace that surpasses all understanding"...

[Todd Norris]

Todd, had Jessica been ill for a while? Seems I remember that.

Losing someone gets better, but it's always there.

robyn

Yes, but it was not in a life-threatening situation for many years.  It was quite a shock to everyone.  Her systems just suddenly shut down for no "apparent" reason...  I learned at the memorial that her health condition nearly killed her 5-7 years ago, so they all had an attitude of that she was living on "bonus" time.  Someone said that it's as if God decided her bonus time here was complete and it was time for her to go home to heaven. 

I'd just like to thank the DC family for the kind words here.  I admit that I'm not a super close friend of Matt's but as a drumming brother in the faith that I've been able to meet in person, I was really rattled by this and I felt compelled to let the DC family know about it.  I know Matt is grateful for the support. 

[Jim Martin (cavanman)]

Matt,

I remember reading your posts and thinking how sacrificial you were out of love for your wife.

I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss.

I pray that God will honor your dedication with blessings during and after this hard season. Bless you bro.


Jim

[NY Frank]

God bless you and your family, brother.

[felix]

Sorry for your loss Gaddy.  But take comfort that she is in heaven.  I'm sure that does not make it any easier.  Hang in there

[Matt Self (Gaddabout)]

Thanks so much to everyone for all their well-wishes. My struggle has been eased by a loving family (hers and mine) and a lot of caring people.

It is the worst sensation I can think of to be unplugged from your most intimate lover and confidante like this. But, by the grace of God, I've been able to move on a little farther each day towards something else. Not sure what it is, but I feel like I regain a little more of my identity each day.

I'm going over to Todd's house today to hang and play some. I look forward to it, though I picked up my sticks this week for the first time in over a month and ... it's just odd. I had learned to enjoy playing to earn my wife's approval. Without it, I'm finding it hard to get motivated. How strange is that?

But I move on!

[dizz]

Glad to have you back Gaddy!  :)

[Chris Whitten]

But I move on!

Good luck mate.

I'm sure you have a happier future ahead of you. It'll just take time to heal the hurt.

[Mark Counts]

Matt,
I am sorry, I just saw this thread and I didn't know. I know you had shared with us the health problems that Jessica was having.
Man, I am sorry and praying for you and your two families.
A few years ago, I got to play drums for a week in Branson and I got to watch two testimonial services from a guy named Don Piper. I have both of the services on DVD. He was pronounced dead for 90 min. He hit a semi head on. He wrote the book "90 Minutes in Heaven". I don't know if this helps but he talks about seeing his grandmother in Heaven. He said that all the people in his life that helped him know Jesus were there waiting for him.  He said she was always walking bent over from arthritis and he never knew her with teeth. When he saw her there, he remembered that she looked perfect and ageless and when she smiled at him she had the most beautiful white smile. The story really inspired me but you can be sure that Jessica is perfect now and not in any pain. She went home, and there is only one thing for sure in this life, we will all go some day. If you would like me to burn you a copy of this DVD, It would be my pleasure?
Again, my prayers go out to you and from reading your post over the years, I know that you know you can find comfort in the Lord.
God Bless you Gaddy,
         Sincerely,
                 Mark Counts

[Matt Self (Gaddabout)]

I haven't been around DC much since the summer, so I thought this thread would be an appropriate place to update and maybe just close this thread off.

It's been a very strange 10 mos. Lots of ups and downs, but much more ups than downs. There is no real recovery from this, but I have been swimming in God's grace for sometime and I really have moved on.

It's been excellent having so many friends on the Internet who have supported me and encouraged me to not go into hiding. Facebook has been helpful. I've got a few friends on another board who pestered me into staying active over there, but until recently, I haven't had any REAL interest in drumming. Been on auto-pilot, though lots of gigs last October and taking on additional roles at church have kept me out of the house.

Just now getting the real itch to play again and look to start gigging for real again this summer with my own group. No other gigs, mostly because I alienated a few too many people after my struggles in October. Also, I loaned my new cymbals to a young friend who's just starting out, and I haven't seen him or the cymbals since then. So that's been fun. hehe Not.

Wanted to thank Todd and Bart for their patience and concern. Also, Andy did in fact have lunch with me and was kind and insightful. I really need to get out and hear him play. Thanks to Billy Ward who sent me the most wonderful e-mail. Billy, I am grieving with you today in ways I don't think many others could. Frank, who continues to include me in a world that is strange and new. So many others. Thank you all for your kind words. This is a wonderful community.

Oh, and David, I promise you I have not forgotten about that article! I'm just four months late on everything. *sigh*

God bless all!