Topic: What do you tell your wife/husband when you come home with that new cymbal?

[ritarocks]

... or wok that hat

with chopsticks!

[skriben]

Grow-up. You can't always get what you want in life. A good marriage is a hell of a lot more important than a stinkin' cymbal or snare drum!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo way! I'd leave anyone for drums. Having a wife isn't a "must have" or any kind of "work". It's a passion,  just like drums.

The most beautiful things in the world of the ones of least importance.

[ritarocks]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo way! I'd leave anyone for drums.

So I guess I know what you'd say if Robert DeNiro approached you and said ,"A million dollars...For one night with your drums."

[dougstiers]

Shut up bit*h  

[skriben]

So I guess I know what you'd say if Robert DeNiro approached you and said ,"A million dollars...For one night with your drums."

Yeah, I'd swap and buy loads of percussion, cymbals, hardware and drums !!! =)

[SteamRhino]

Shut up bit*h  

Wow, uhhh...so, tell us what it's like using a cymbal for a suppository

[mowmoney]

I like my women like my fish and chicken,,,,BATTERED! lol I was poking fun at the post about blackening her other eye! no. I just do whatever, usually she is cool with things, however I do tend to go overboard sometimes and thats when I hear about it. But I probably need it.

[Mark Counts]

I make almost twice the money she does but I don't buy anything unless we discuss it.  I tell her the truth.  The only things that I have bought with out her knowing it, is when I get an unexpected bonus check from work. Eventually, I still tell her.
           Nutty

[bolweevil]

  I tell her the truth.  The only things that I have bought with out her knowing it, is when I get an unexpected bonus check from work. Eventually, I still tell her.
           Nutty

I notice there's the word "eventually" in that last sentence.  I hear you!  Generally, I wait a few days or weeks or however long it takes for my girlfriend (soon to be fiance) to buy some luxury item for herself.  I ooh and aah over it (no matter what it is) and then say, "And have you seen the cymbal I just got?"

It softens the blow....

[Mark Counts]

I notice there's the word "eventually" in that last sentence.  I hear you!  Generally, I wait a few days or weeks or however long it takes for my girlfriend (soon to be fiance) to buy some luxury item for herself.  I ooh and aah over it (no matter what it is) and then say, "And have you seen the cymbal I just got?"

It softens the blow....

In my arsenal of equipment, I have bought two items from bonus checks that I told her about after the fact.  My 24in 2002 Ride and the Paiste 24in Cymbal case to carry it.  That is it. She knew about everything else before I spent the money.  Everyones relationship is different.  I am one of these people that wears everything on my sleeve so hiding things from the one I Love is not my nature. I couldn't tell a lie and get away with it. That is just me.
                         Nutty

[SteveR]

Funny someone bumped this thread, as I was thinking about this just yesterday.

I'm a newlywed (married in February) and I'm thinking of overhauling my cymbal setup to avoid getting in a rut. I've had the same setup for about 4 years now, so I'm thinking of picking up a couple of Sabian AAX-plosion crashes and a new ride.

I certainly don't expect my wife to understand the nuances between a Sabian AA dark crash and a Zildjian dark crash, but she DOES understand that my playing on the weekends helps put money in the bank.

I figure, if she can go to Ann Taylor Loft and buy clothes and not tell me until after the fact, I can do the same with these cymbals. 

[Louis Russell]

She never complained about music equipment but one time she did pitch a fit over an airplane I bought.  So I just looked her right in the eyes and said "you crazy old woman, how would you like it if I knocked all your teeth out?  Airplanes are what makes us money you goofy, complaining ole witch"  Of course I was saying all this to myself because if she heard me  I would have been the one with no teeth.  It always pays to tell the truth because "the truth will set you free"  of course sometimes it hurts a little.

I was very lucky to be in the group with wives who supported their love for music.  My wife was an accomplished organist.  She was the Church organist from the time she was 9 years old and could play anything by ear and could sight read with the best of them.  She was a great musician, a wonderful wife, and above all she was able to put up with my jokes for 34 years.  A word to the wise, never hide things from your wife!  It will come back to haunt you OR she may knock your teeth out!   

[Steve "Smitty" Smith]

What do I tell my wife?

"Honey, put the gun down."

Seriously, my wife and I keep separate checking accounts for the precise reason that we don't want to deal with headaches that would result from the situation discussed in this post.  We contribute to a joint checking account to cover household expenses and a joint savings account to save for vacations, etc.  But we each retain a great deal of financial independence through our personal checking accounts.  I highly recommend this set up, unless some other issue makes it impractical.  A lot of people look at me funny when I describe this set-up, but these are the same people that have mild to severe co-dependency issues.

[bolweevil]

In my arsenal of equipment, I have bought two items from bonus checks that I told her about after the fact.  My 24in 2002 Ride and the Paiste 24in Cymbal case to carry it.  That is it. She knew about everything else before I spent the money.  Everyones relationship is different.  I am one of these people that wears everything on my sleeve so hiding things from the one I Love is not my nature. I couldn't tell a lie and get away with it. That is just me.
                         Nutty

Hey Nutty, I was just kidding earlier--not trying to suggest that sneaking around with cymbals is okay (though always tempting).

[Chip Donaho]

I've been down that road. She has had almost 40 years to get used to me. Never complained a bit. She just said, "That's your problem, you bought it you pay for it." I think I'll keep her. 

[Donald Mcnany (boomerweps)]

I take my wife to the drum shop with me. She likes playing my drums and I've bought her stand mounted congas and bongos and a LOT of hand held percussion. WE are a dangerous pair in a music store with a credit card ;>)

PA gear is another story but she allows for my addiction ;>)

Boomerweps

[sleepybrIghteyez]

I say, "Hey babe, didn't you say you needed a new pair of shoes?" She usually knows ahead of time before I make any purchases. She does the same for me. We share a bank account, and lots of people think we're crazy for it, but with good communication it works out very well.

I mean, how do you dictate who pays what bills with separate accounts? I don't like the headache I have of managing one account, much less two. I think that's the reason I've been faithful to my wife for all of these years as well. LOL!!!

[Steve "Smitty" Smith]

I mean, how do you dictate who pays what bills with separate accounts?

We have a joint account for shared expenses. It's really pretty easy to manage.

[Chip Donaho]

We had separate accounts for many things over the years. But in the end the total that was left ended up in a joint account. The money I made playing went into my "band" account and went towards my gear purchases. Likewise my contruction money went into that account. But in the end we both agreed to what we bought unless it was a relativly small purchase. When I came home with new drums or gear I just showed up home with it. Then I put up with whatever she had to say about it. Worked for me.    But in return I never complained because I allowed her to get whatever she wanted or needed. So the bottom line was always mutual. We've put up with each other for so many years that we just about know what the other one is thinking before they say it. When we got married she knew she was marrying a musician. So it's never realy been a problem that I know of. She's managed to keep her trap shut pretty good.

[William Leslie]

I really didn't have to tell her anything. She was standing next to me when I bought the three of them. She did look a little funny when I was able to pull enough cash out to pay for them on the spot. I quess she wonders where I keep that money while I'm waiting to have enough to make a purchase like that, but she nevers says a word. She even opened the door on our way out.